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Past Waves | Next Wave

FIC: Impasse (Chapter Eight)

Ohayo, minnasan! I hope everyone out there in Cyberland is doing well! Everyone is finally recovering from the awful Influenza A virus, though there is a good chance that I may have strep throat. We'll be finding that out tomorrow morning. =-.-=;;

My Gackt hoodie will be finished tomorrow! It's going to look so awesome when the hood is finally attached! Woot! I also finally got the capri pants from our local Pamida. They only cost me 7 bucks, so I won't feel so bad when I end up ruining them the little bit that I have too. The buttons I ordered for the Ultimate Gackt game came too, though they are much smaller than I thought they would be. They're still very well done.

Now onto what many of you have come to read! I have chapter eight ready to go and this chapter focuses on the past YeTeuk, a little on Hankyung and Kame talking and a lot on the beginning of the HanHae. This chapter also exhausted me and I ended up weeping a little at the end of it. It was a difficult part for me to write, I hope everyone does enjoy it and thank you again for all your support!

By: Miracle Shining

PAIRINGS: HanHae, HanTeuk, TeukHae, HanTeukHae, SiHan (past tense), KyuMin, ShinChul, etc.
RATINGS: PG-13 to NC-17 (will be notated if NC-17)
GROUPS: Super Junior, DBSK, Kitty GYM, KAT-TUN
GENRE: Action/Romance/Angst
WARNINGS: Violence, Sexual Situations, Dark Themes, Character Death
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Don't own them, never will, but thanks for reading!
SUMMARY: AU Storyline~In the South Korean underworld, a popular form of entertainment is fighting matches. Men are judged by the fighters they own. A troubled fighter with a past catches the attention of two long time friends and may lead them both to the brink of obsession.


CHAPTER EIGHT: The Wall Comes Tumbling Down

Night seemed to have drifted too quickly into the next day.

The coffeehouse was quiet and dimly lit. The barister looked very bored as he drummed his overly manicured nails on the delicately polished coffee bar. The music was some kind of American jazz that didn't seem to mesh well with almost overly prosh decor of the room. The tables were set a little too close together and the smell of cheap beans wafted over the air despite the attempted elegance of the establishment. The sound of rain pouring down overhead and the darkness of the clouds hung over the rest of the city. The man in the back wondered why he had agreed to come here.

Eeteuk sat quietly in the far corner of the cafe. There was a small window which allowed him to gaze out at the passing vehicles and the pedestrians wandering by. Yesung sat across from him sipping a cup of coffee with a mild look of disdain.

"They obviously don't know the difference between fine Colombian and cheap imitations." the man mentioned softly.

Eeteuk said nothing but his expression looked nervous. He sighed then and pushed his fingers through the side of his hair. There was another long pause before Yesung spoke again.

"So are we just going to sit here and have a one sided conversation, Jungsu?" Yesung questioned.

"I need to be getting back. I'm sure Heechul and Shindong are wondering where I've gone off too."

"Or they've already figured you've grabbed a taxi and are heading back to your place."

The older man frowned deeply and then turned his attention back to the window. The sound of Yesung sipping on his cup seemed to echo through the otherwise silent room. After a moment, Eeteuk broke the silence.

"Why are you here, Jongwoon?"

"I had some business I needed to take care of."

"I can only imagine what kind of business that was."

Yesung shrugged mildly before opening up six packets of sugar and pouring them into his cup. Though he normally favored his coffee blacker than night, the flavor was terrible and he opted to try and cover up the taste.

"Why are you here, Jungsu?"

"Because you told me to come and have a cup of coffee with you."

"No, why were you at the hospital?"

"I had a friend who was injured."

"Ah." Yesung responded.

"Why were you at the hospital?" Eeteuk turned the question on the other man.

"I saw you and followed you there."

"How did you know I was there?"

"I was at the fight last night."

Eeteuk's eyebrows raised and he looked curiously at Yesung.

"I know I would have seen you if you were there. What were you doing, hiding?" Eeteuk asked with a slightly sharp tone.

"Something like that." Yesung noted and then drank a bit more of his terrible tasting coffee. "I think I need more sugar."

"You hate anything in your coffee."

"I know, but I have to cover up the taste somehow. How is your friend doing? Hopefully there won't be a major scar in his shoulder."

"No, I don't think there will be, but..." Eeteuk stopped speaking and then looked wide eyed at Yesung. "How would have you known about his shoulder?"

"I told you, I was at the fight."

"But no one could make out where Donghae was shot in the crowd."

Yesung just whistled softly around his coffee cup. Eeteuk felt like his blood ran cold inside of his veins. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and then barely croaked out the next sentence.

"Jongwoon, you... You didn't..."

The black haired man just yawned slightly and then held up his right hand. He shaped his thumb and index finger into a mimic of a gun.

"Bang, bang." he said blandly. "He got in the way of me painting the roses red, but hey, in least he didn't die."

"JONGWOON!!" Eeteuk shouted loudly.

The disturbance drew the attention of the man at the front. Eeteuk quickly gathered his composure and forced himself to sit down. Neither men spoke until the barister returned to tapping his fingernails on the bar.

"Are you done?" Yesung questioned.

Eeteuk just covered his eyes with his hand. He tried to draw in the air that seemed to be getting more and more shallow. After a few moments, he pushed the hyperventelation down and drew in a few slow breaths.

"I need to report you." he stated simply.

"To who, Jungsu? The police? I would like to see how that report is going to be filed. Let's see, an embezzler reporting a hit man who was trying to kill an illegal immigrant fighter in an underground arena? Oh that will definitely get a lot of authority on your side."

Eeteuk bit his lip. He fussed with the hem of his shirt and then fidgeted around the cuffs of his sleeves. Yesung reached out suddenly and laid his hand over one of Eeteuk's.

"Hey, if it's an consolation, I'm sorry about what happened to your friend."

"Sorry?! Sorry?! He almost got killed because you missed Hankyung!"

"It almost sounds like you would have liked me to have hit him, Jungsu."

Eeteuk's eyes went wide and he dropped his head. The flush on his cheeks made Yesung's lips curl slightly, a hint of his sparkling white incisors peeking through.

"So that's it, isn't it?"

"It's..., it's not like that." Eeteuk tried to defend himself.

"So that little conversation I overheard between you and your friend has nothing to do with it?"

The blush on Eeteuk's face turned almost crimson. He felt the tears brimming around the base of his eyelashes.

"I hate you." he snapped.

"No you don't." Yesung replied. "You could never hate me."

Eeteuk choked on a sob in the back of his throat. Yesung set down the cup and stood from his side of the table. He walked around the short distance and knelt down in front of Eeteuk. One of his slender hands reached up and turned the older man to look at him. His thumbs barely brushed away the little droplets of saline that were beginning to stain Eeteuk's cheeks.

"You don't love him, Jungsu." Yesung said simply. "You know that."

"I... I thought I did." Eeteuk whispered, his thoughts feeling very jumbled in his head. "But I'm so angry right now."

"At him?"

"No, not at him. Never at Donghae." Eeteuk replied. "Just at myself for feeling this way. For wanting you to have killed Hankyung now."

"I'm sure my employer is going to be after my head now, that's the second time that I've missed him."

"Second time?" Eeteuk barely whispered.

Yesung just shrugged mildly again. Eeteuk mentally thought back to the story that Junsu had told all of them in the drawing room. There had been an accident and two fighters had been shot. One had died in the hospital, the other had survived.

"When did you do this?"

"Huh, I'm not sure. Over three years ago I think?"

"What... what happened?"

"Couldn't tell the two guys apart, they were both about the same height. All my employer told me to do was shoot the tall one. No hair color, no marks of indentification, just shoot the tall one. Well hell, the dark haired one was the tall one in comparison, so I fired off at him. Now makes me wish that my employer had actually stated 'shoot the Chinese guy' and I might have finished it properly the first time."

Eeteuk felt like he was going to faint. The room seemed to be swaying back and forth even though he was sitting down. It felt like water was swishing in the distant part of his head. He closed his eyes a couple times, trying to blink away the nausea that was rising in the back of his throat.

"Who was the guy you accidentally killed?"

"Hmm, what was his name? They called him by a nickname, something like Harm? Charmy? Oh, Charmer! They called the guy The Charmer."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Jungsu?!" Yesung quickly placed his hands on Eeteuk's shoulders, trying to steady his old companion. "Are you okay?"

"Why? Why? Why?!"

"Why what?"

"Why would Junsu want to do something like that to Hankyung or to anyone?"

Yesung's eyebrows came together, his face full of confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Junsu told me the story about The Dancer and The Charmer. He told me about how two fighters suffered a horrible accident and one died in the hospital and the other one survived. That it was over three years ago and no one knew exactly what had happened. How would Junsu have known if he hadn't had you do it?!" Eeteuk demanded.

"Jungsu, I don't work for Xiah Junsu. In fact I hardly even know the man."

"Then how... How did you?..."

"My employer is my business. But it's not Xiah Junsu. However, the Chinese gift to everyone? I know for a fact that Hankyung was the one I was supposed to shoot the first time."

"So he's the real Dancer?" Eeteuk squeaked out.

"Yes, he certainly is. Seems like a real waste though. He's the most gifted fighter I think I had ever heard of listening to my employer. Why anyone would want to take him down is beyond me. But work is work and I get paid to do what I do best."

"Apparently you're still not very good at it." Eeteuk replied hotly but there was an underlying tired nature to his words.

"You may say that Jungsu, but I know deep down you could never be angry with me."

The older man frowned for a few moments and then his face relaxed. A level of exhaustion was taking over from the previous night and the current encounter with Yesung. He rolled his head a couple times and then rubbed the back of his neck. Yesung was still kneeling at Eeteuk's feet.

"Hey, I don't go by Jungsu any more. That part of me I gave up when we ended." Eeteuk said softly.

"Oh, what do you go by now?"


"Yesung." Yesung responded as he pointed at himself. "Guess we'll have to get used to calling each other by our new names then."

Eeteuk nodded slightly. The two men remained in their still positions until a jingle on Eeteuk's cell phone caught his attention. He drew in his breath to steady himself and flipped open the phone.



Hankyung stepped out of the car in front of the hospital. The rain was coming down just as heavily as it had the previous evening. He had slept lightly after Kangin had finally moved his head, cushioning it with a small pillow in the middle of his room. The nightmares had come almost continually last night, but they had not focused on Siwon as they had so many times before. Instead he felt the agony and guilt of seeing Donghae wounded and hearing Jin fall behind him. It seemed in his dream that he couldn't hold onto Donghae tight enough and the young man was sliding from his arms. Just out of reach of his grip and his hands felt slippery and too loose to hold on. He had woke up screaming until his throat had gone raw, but it hadn't been Siwon's name that he called out. In desperation for some kind of comfort, he had found his laptop and replayed an old precious moment on his monitor. The images flashing over the screen calmed him slightly. However, the memory of the nightmare still played over his mind as he stepped through the main doors.

The nurse looked at Hankyung with a mild expression and then slightly smiled. She instructed him on two different floors and room numbers and commented that she rather liked his unusual accent. He just nodded slightly and then stepped into the elevator.

The numbers blinked a garish red until he reached the third floor. The doors hissed open quietly and Hankyung stepped out. The smell of too much antiseptic wafted through the air along with a mere hint of mouthwash and the scent of overcooked hospital food. He walked quietly to the waiting room and looked inside. The room was empty except for a small young man curled up into a ball on the far couch. Hankyung's expression softened slightly as he slipped inside and walked over.

Kame's face was tight even in sleep. His hands clenched open and closed just as his fingers curled into the worn tapestry. His lashes flickered over his closed eyes. He went still for a moment before he shot upright and drew in a huge gasp of air. His mouth opened in a silent scream. Hankyung quickly reached out and grabbed the trainer by the shoulders holding him still.

"Kame! Kame!" Hankyung quickly shook the younger man.

Kame blinked a few times before focusing a too tired gaze on the Chinese man. He closed his eyes slowly and then opened them again. The two gazed at each other for a moment before Kame suddenly moved forward, throwing his arms around Hankyung's neck. The older man went still. He was unsure how to approach the moment and felt awkward at the level of physical contact. Hankyung finally lifted up his arms and very slowly wrapped them around Kame. He could feel the young man's shoulders shaking and knew he was weeping silently into his neck.

"Why?" Kame finally blurted out. "Why did this happen?!"

Hankyung felt something inside of him. An ache that for once wasn't exactly his. He knew the pain that Kame was feeling all too well. He could see himself in the position Kame was in at the moment. However, instead of crying as his friend was doing, he had begun to lay bricks trapping his emotions inside.

"The bullet wasn't meant for Jin." Hankyung finally said. "It was meant for me."

Kame pulled back and looked at Hankyung. His face was a mixture of anger, exhaustion and utter disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. Finally, he found his voice again.


"I don't know." Hankyung confessed. He lowered his head then and brought his arms from around Kame's sides. His hands reached forward and he gripped the Japanese man's fingers with his palms.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he continued to whisper over and over again. He felt there was no level of recompense he could make for what had happened to Jin. "I wish the bullet had taken me. I wish that I wasn't here."

"Stop saying that!" Kame suddenly grabbed Hankyung by the sides of his face. He forced the taller man to look at him. Kame's eyes were fierce and passionate. "If you wished you weren't here, you wouldn't have shouted for 911! You wouldn't have tried to hold onto your friend and protect him! You wouldn't have stopped in the middle of the fight and helped Jin up! You wouldn't have done any of that if you didn't want to live!!"

Hankyung stared at Kame as the young man drew in huge gulps of air after his outburst. He finally got his breathing under control as he felt the sounds of sadness creep up the back of his throat. The tears came too easily for the normally tough youth and he collapsed against Hankyung once again.

"I'm sorry..." Kame whispered.

"No, no, never say you're sorry to me ever." Hankyung whispered back. "I... What you said... I..."

The door to the waiting room opened suddenly and the two men looked up from where they were resting. Two surgeons drew back their masks and nodded in a pleased manner.

"The bullet removal last night not only went well but it looks like Mr. Akanishi has made it through the night Mr. Kamenashi."

Kame's face lit up despite the tears that were streaming down his cheeks.

"He... He did?" he managed to get out.

"We had to remove a portion of his damaged stomach and some intestine where the bullet grazed. We wish we could have told your earlier but we had to keep too close of watch on him. He's waking up right now and I know you would be the first person he would like to see." the other surgeon stated.

Kame nodded quickly and then turned back to Hankyung. He smiled so bright that the Chinese man wondered briefly if the sun could compete. The Japanese man then gripped Hankyung's face and kissed him hard on the lips before swinging off the couch and taking both of the surgeons by the arms, dragging them through the waiting room doors and down to Jin's room.

Hankyung still sat on the floor in a near daze. He touched his lips briefly and realized that was the first time he had been kissed in over three years. He felt the slightest hint of laughter in the back of his throat as Kame's joy touched him deeply. Shaking his head, he drew himself up off the floor and walked out of the waiting room. He stepped back into the elevator and pressed the button again. Two more floors and he would see Donghae.


Donghae stared out at the pouring rain sliding down the window of his room. He had already changed into his clothes and had paced around his room for the thirty-sixth time. He knew that because he had made a point of counting. Another low crack of thunder gave indication that the storm that had moved in last night was going to be staying through the rest of the day.

The young man looked at his cell phone and sighed softly. He had called Eeteuk over three hours ago and his friend still hadn't been there to pick him up. Donghae wondered if Eeteuk was truly angry with him. He felt terrible about telling him how he felt last night. But part of him knew if he didn't then, he might never get the ability or drive to do so again. Donghae tried calling Heechul and Shindong but all he got were their voice mails. Even texting was getting no messages from any of his friends. He slipped his phone back into his front pocket when he heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Eeteuk?" Donghae quickly spun around.

He stopped where he was standing as he saw a tall, lanky man with white hair standing in his room. Hankyung was clad in a simple black tanktop, black loose pants and a denim jacket. He had his hands shoved in his pockets and was rolling back and forth on his heels. The look of uncertainty and awkwardness was actually evident on his normally cold looking face.

"Hey." Hankyung finally said.

"Hankyung!" Donghae exclaimed.

Without thought, the brunette darted across the room and threw his arms around Hankyung's waist. The Chinese man took a couple steps back from the suprise force. Donghae then yelped a little and winced. Hankyung quickly drew back to see that Donghae was favoring his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Hankyung quickly questioned, already checking over the other.

"Yes, I'm okay. I just forget I can't really use my arm yet."

Hankyung's expression changed to one of worry tainted with guilt. He looked down at his feet and then kicked at the floor slightly. Donghae realized only a couple days ago he had done the same thing in Junsu's hallway.

"I'm glad you're doing well." Hankyung finally spoke.


"You were waiting for your friend?"

"I tried calling Teukieah, but it's been like three hours. I can't get ahold of my other two friends either."




"Did you come to see me?"

The white haired man paused briefly and then nodded slightly.

"You and Jin."

"Is that other fighter all right? Eeteuk told me that they got the bullet out."

"He's okay. He made it through the night. I went and saw his trainer before I came here."

"Is that Kame all right too?"

"He will be. He just had to remind me of some things."

"Like what?"

Hankyung looked uncomfortable by the question. Donghae inwardly wished that he could keep his mouth shut just once. He found himself looking down at the floor.



"If you don't have anyone to get you, I'm here in one of Junsu's cars. Maybe I could drop you off at your friend's place?"

"Actually, I don't really want to go there right now." Donghae said very softly. "Could... Could I just go wherever you're going?"

The taller man finally looked at Donghae. He almost smiled and then nodded a little.

"If you don't mind coming back to Junsu's mansion, I can make you a little something to eat or drink."

"You cook?"

"I'm relatively good. I used to cook for everyone when I started fighting."

Donghae suddenly smiled very widely. Seeing that on the young man's face made something in Hankyung feel warm. The urge to protect Donghae started to wake up in the deepest corners of his soul. He inwardly thought about Siwon for the briefest moment as he gazed at Donghae. Something was different with Donghae as it had been with his lost partner. This was something completely new to Hankyung. He was also beginning to realize, it was something that wasn't unwelcome.

"Have you been excused by the doctors already?"

Donghae nodded.

"I was about ready to call a taxi any ways."

Hankyung nodded in return. There was a moment of mutual silence before the taller man simply turned and opened up the door. Donghae only stopped to pick up the little bag of medical supplies for his shoulder and then scurried past Hankyung. The door to the room closed with a silent hiss.


The rain continued to come down in torrents as one of Junsu's many cars pulled up into the underground parking garage. The driver slipped out of the side and walked to the back door. He opened it up gracefully and Hankyung stepped out. Donghae was quick to follow. The young man paused to gaze around the expanse of even Junsu's garage.

"I can't believe he still makes this much money. Even Eeteuk and I aren't this wealthy." Donghae mused.

Hankyung felt a flit of a grin play over his features before his face turned sober again. He gestured with his hand for Donghae to follow him. They made their way through the garage and into a small adjoining passageway. Hankyung drew back a heavy wooden door. The private training center was connected directly to the garage through the hall. The room was eerily quiet. All the other fighters and trainers were off tending to their own projects and situations at the moment.

Donghae felt like he was walking almost too loudly as the crossed the large room. Hankyung opened the next door. The smaller young man followed him down another hallway before they reached a series of marked doors. Hankyung stopped at the one notated with "four" on the front.

"Home sweet home." he stated.

He opened the door and stepped inside. Donghae followed him and stopped in awe as his eyes scanned over the room.

Hankyung's living space was sparse at best. The room itself was almost massive compared to the little bit of furniture he had inside. There were three large picture windows that formed a half circle framed in delicate tan curtains. Two small lamps and a hanging chandelier provided a quiet illumination as Hankyung switched the lights on. There was a large bed with a simple tan blanket laying across it. A small area had been blocked off for a built in kitchenette with a small refrigerator and a streamlined stove and sink. Donghae could see the appliances through the open kitchen doorway. There was another door that led to what he was guessing was the bathroom. A heavily plush maroon chair sat on the far side of the space. Hankyung's laptop along with some papers, an ink pen, and a pillow were resting on the rich wooden floors.

"This room is really big." Donghae commented.

Hankyung gestured for Donghae to find a place to sit.

"I don't have much use for fancy furniture. I rarely use my bed, I prefer to sleep on the floor. Junsu gave me this particular room because I like to look outside."

"It's really big." Donghae found he couldn't think of anything else to say.

He watched Hankyung slip off his shoes and quickly did the same. Hankyung then took off his denim jacket and hung it on a small hook next to the door. Donghae had been holding onto his hooded sweatshirt. It had been too difficult to pull on. He had struggled enough to get his t-shirt on. He smiled almost shyly as Hankyung took the article of clothing.

"Are you hungry?" the man questioned as he hung up the hoodie.


"Do you drink tea? I have some oolong that is very warming."

Donghae found he liked this part of Hankyung very much. He nodded and grinned warmly. He noted that Hankyung actually gave him a real smile back. The act made Donghae's cheeks warm and his ears pink slightly underneath his longish hair.

"Thank you."

"It'll take about five minutes to ready. Please, have a seat."

The younger man nodded and then looked around the room. The chair was too far away to sit in and looked uncomfortable despite it's rich nature. The bed seemed far too intimate to flop down upon. Donghae finally just walked over and sat down near Hankyung's laptop and paperwork. He fiddled a little with the hem of his pants and then glanced over at the screen. A series of fish floated aimlessly around the screen. Donghae giggled slightly and turned to watch their antics. In the process he bumped the fingertouch mouse with tip of his foot. The screensaver disappeared in front of his eyes and a video file labeled "20" was highlighted. The brunette paused and then looked up at the kitchen. He could hear Hankyung turning on the water but couldn't see him through the kitchen doorway. Donghae bit his lip and then tried to ignore the paused video image. He looked back up to see that his host was still busy in the kitchenette. Donghae drummed his fingers for a few moments before letting them drift out over the mouse pad. The little arrow darted back and forth a few seconds before temptation became too strong for the youth. He finally took the arrow down and hit the little button in the corner. The video uploaded slowly and then began to play.

Donghae watched as the images began to move across the screen. Someone was carrying a small camcorder from the way everything was bouncing. He could see that the room was a bedroom of sorts, very small and a little cozy. Finally the camera came to stop on a person laying in bed. The man had light brown hair that was messed up and a long white shirt that was just covering his upper legs. The comforter was strewn about the bedframe and the sheets were a tangled mess.

"Hankyung?" Donghae barely whispered. Then he listened as the dialogue came through.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hannieah, happy birthday to you." came a soft deep voice from behind the camera.

Donghae had guessed correctly as the person in the bed turned and looked at the camera. It was a slightly younger looking Hankyung. He opened both eyes before closing them and throwing a pillow at the camera.

"Go away."

"Come on, time to get up!" came the chipper voice from behind.

"Go away and come back tomorrow."

"It won't be your birthday tomorrow."

"I don't care."

"Sure you do! Come on, Hannieah, get up! I made you a cake."


The image of a flat little pancake with a lit candle stuck in it appeared in front of the camera. Donghae could see that whomever was holding the plate had beautiful hands. Hankyung sat up and in the video looked down at the pancake then back up at the camera.

"It's a pancake."

"I never said what kind."

The Hankyung in the video laughed then. Donghae realized that he had never heard the man laugh until that moment. It was sweet and soft. So full of life compared to the Hankyung he had come to know. The video Hankyung took the plate and blew out the candle.

"So what do you want to do for your birthday?" came that deep quiet voice.

"I want to eat this pancake."

"Besides that?"

"Um, I think I would like to go for a walk. Maybe go to a nice dinner later that you'll be paying for."

The laughter that Donghae heard of the person behind the camera was almost infectuous. It made his whole body feel joyful. The camera settled as whomever was manning it sat down on the bed next to Hankyung.

"For prosperity, say something meaningful on your birthday."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, you're turning twenty today, you should have some deep words of wisdom for me."

The video Hankyung looked thoughtful and then said something in Mandarin Chinese that Donghae didn't understand. The person using the video camera voiced his mental question for him.

"What does that mean?"

"'Remember to always stay at peace, son. Keep youself open like the waves of the ocean.' It was something that my father used to always tell me before I came here to South Korea. I never want to close myself off from anything. You lose so much when you do."

"I like that." came the voice in response.

The video Hankyung then suddenly sprang forward and there was some mild wrestling movement. The camera suddenly moved and a man fell backwards onto the bed. Donghae felt his breath catch as he made out an elegant man with black hair and strong eyebrows. He was shirtless and his pants were holding snugly to his hips. His almost black eyes sparkled as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Now it's your turn to say something to the camera."

"Um, let's see. Okay, Happy 20th birthday to my Dancer, my Hangeng. From your Charmer, your Siwon."

"Anything else?"

Donghae watched as this Siwon's expression now turned serious. He gestured forward with his fingers and then the camera moved again. Hankyung laid down beside Siwon as he held the camera in front of both of them.


"Yes, Siwon?"

"Promise me that we'll always be together."

"I promise."

"I love you." Siwon said then.

"I love you too."

Donghae watched as the two men leaned in to kiss each other. The click of the camera was heard and then screen went black. He sat there in silence before the sound of shatteing porcelain caught his attention.

He turned to look up and saw Hankyung. Broken cups were resting at his feet. The man's face was a mixture of anger, betrayal and loss. But the look changed as he gazed down at Donghae. The smaller man had tears pouring down his cheeks. His eyes looked so utterly pained that Hankyung could hardly stand looking at him. The saline continued to paint down Donghae's cheeks before he finally whispered to the other man.

".......I'm so sorry."

Hankyung suddenly dropped to his knees and threw his arms around Donghae pulling him against him. He felt his internal wall crack clean through. Tears came finally to his eyes and he began to weep openly as Donghae held him tightly, sharing his pain. The wall that Hankyung had spent so much time putting up was finally crashing down.


( 43 Songs — Sing a Sea Shanty? )
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Mar. 30th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)

Like always luve luve luve IT.
I wanna see more HanHae love.
this story getting very interesting.
Were Teukie and Yesung old lovers hmmmmm. Fighitn ^o^
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading! Yes they were actually in the past and hopefully more will be shed on in the future. I'm so glad you're here for the HanHae and thank you!
Mar. 30th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
my heart hurts T_T the scenes from the video keep repeating in my head...it's such a happy scene, with a tragical end! really, this chapter was simply PERFECT! shihan is sweet love forever <3 CAN'T SIWON COME BACK TO LIFE?!?!? or or...maybe he didn't really died! i dunno but pleeeeease bring him back TT____TT hannie is suffering so much...happy moments that will never come back..it's too sad! ~ GOSH THIS CHAPTER WAS PERFECT!!!
Mar. 31st, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
I agree, Siwon can be alive! Fandom says so! lol. but this chapter is really amazing<3 Can't wait for moooore<3
(no subject) - miracleshining - Mar. 31st, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - miracleshining - Mar. 31st, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ryutakay - Apr. 1st, 2008 01:36 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 30th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
Aha!! YehTeuk!!!! *Happy Dance* Moving on....

The wall collasped!!! (good thing it wasn't the Great Wall of China, then we'd have a real problem. =])

So sad... ='[

You updated... Faster this time? Or is it just me... x] (I think it's me)

BTW, one question.... did they have smexy time? Siwon and Hannie? Or is it a bad timeto ask? xD *Just curious*
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. I did update slightly sooner than usual because this chapter flowed a bit easier than the previous one, even if I was emotionally exhausted from writing it. ::chuckles::

And did Siwon and Hannie have smexy time? ::waggles eyebrows:: Sora wa no himitsu desu! (It's a secret!)
(no subject) - xoxosuju - Apr. 1st, 2008 12:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)
I feel so bad I make everyone cry with these chapters! =T.T= But I'm so glad you that you enjoyed reading it, it took a long time for Hannie's wall to finally come down. There will be more on the YeTeuk moments too! Thanks for reading!
Mar. 31st, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
That was reallly sad!!! In all three scenarios!!! =[ I can't wait for more to come~!!! Imagine how happy I was when I saw that this chapter was updated! Hint: very happy :3
Anywya, it's really sad, and I hope that everything will be alright soon. Donghae's such a sweet and understanding character that it makes this story all the more worthwhile to read!
I can't wait for the next chapter, so please update SOON!
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed the next chapter and for following my storyline. I will hopefully update again in a few days! =^^=V
Mar. 31st, 2008 12:53 am (UTC)
omg, this is too sweet for words.. sweet sadness is unbearable ~ good stuff
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
Sweet Sadness. I really like how you summarized that, it fit this chapter so well. Thank you so much for reading and your support!
Mar. 31st, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
*tears* The video was so sweet and sad at the same time. *hugs the HanShiHae trio* I want to keep them for myself and hug them everyday. I can't wait to read more HanHae. They are quickly becoming my second fav. pairing after ShiHan. ^_^
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
Yay for another SiHanHae supporter! ::adds you to her mini army of SHH below her HH army:: I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope my next one will be worth the wait!
Mar. 31st, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
This is an awesome chapter!!
OMG!! I almost tear when Donghae watch the video...
It was just so sad....
but I am also glad cause hangeng seem like had open up his heart for donghae...
You're awesome writer!!
I'm waiting for more!!!!
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading! I feel a bit bad that everyone keeps tearing up at my chapters! ::sniffles:: And thank you so much for the compliments, I hope my next chapter lives up to expectations!

Oooooh, and your icon... ::EATS IT TWICE::
Mar. 31st, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
I feel like crying tooo..
but I can't no matter how many times I read that part

I'm good now :x

Donghae and Hankyung are the so cute together :]

please update soon :]
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading! I'm truly glad that you enjoyed the chapter and that you've been supporting my story. I will update soon!
(no subject) - crazylilazngirl - Apr. 2nd, 2008 04:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 31st, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
Omg, Donghae. ♥
It's amazing, and a little frustrating, that one person who doesn't even know you can tear down your walls. It's just not fair. Hankyung needs it though~
Mar. 31st, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! And I really love how you put it about Donghae breaking through to Hankyung. I think there is a level of frustrations and anxiety, but it's in a good way. Some times the people you know the least can make the most difference, ne?

Your icon... ::DROOOOLS::
Mar. 31st, 2008 03:36 am (UTC)
yay^^ hae finally got through to hannie...and even though it's past my bedtime, i had to read this^^ i hope there is a happy ending for teukie^^
Apr. 1st, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
Wee, thank you so much for reading! (Even if I kept you past your bedtime! XD) I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and there will be more in reference to Teukie's future. (As well as Yesung's!)
Mar. 31st, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
I just loved it!!!! That was so sad that I was crying! TT
I really like HanHae, it is really cute to see the together! Hae is just like a little puppy that wants to follow his Hannie everywhere! Kyaaaaaaaa
A really really good job!
waiting for your next chapter ^^
Apr. 1st, 2008 12:01 am (UTC)
I make everyone cry! ::sniffles:: Thank you so much for reading my chapter and my story, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

::pictures image of Donghae with dog collar and owner Hankyung:: Wow, that has potential in more ways that one... ::grinz::
Mar. 31st, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
really wish i could have commented last night when i read it but i was in such a hurry that i was like alksdjfhajkldsf GAH 2morrow i shall spazz then.

ok, as in all of the recent chapters, i shall tell you about my crying.
because i did. but only once this time. which is kinda a record. it was at the end, with the video, but i made up for the lack of crying elsewhere by completely sobbing my eyes out here. i seriously soaked through like 3 tissues and it was kinda loud. and i had to stop because i needed time to cry XD but yeah im glad i was alone because then people would have been like....why are you randomly crying so hard?

i really like how you made yehsung, he's amazingly badass. especially that movement with his hands into a gun, that was really, really well written and completely charecterized him in that one move. and his relationship with eeteuk flows so well, like they talk completely apathetically about it but its anything but apathy. and the whole, 'never liked seeing you cry' and 'you could never hate me' i can already kinda see what they used to be like.

ok, you know that i am totally and fully in love with your story and your writing and have been a huge fan right? so, im so so sorry but i kinda want to make my first critisism about this fic >.< (IM SORRY BUT ITS SO GOOD SO I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ITS VERY SOPHISTICATED SO I FEEL LIKE MY OPINION WONT EVEN AFFECT THAT SOPHISTICATION AT ALL. because usually im afraid to say bad things, but this is just so amazing that i could say like 100 bad things and itll still be an 190740998241 times amazing fic)<--and that is one of my completely honest and absolutely true comments. no lie.

and maybe this is just me, but i feel like hankyung kinda switched charecter too quickly. like before, he was cold, and closed off and untouchable. and i realize that kangin's coming back and all the events that have happened since he met donghae has loosened him up a little bit, but i still get the feeling that he was a little bit...too kind? to donghae? but from his last interaction with donghae and his most recent one, the change was very, very drastic. and yes, he would totally be nicer to donghae after he took a bullet for him, but i think certain sentences 'I have some oolong that is very warming.' and 'Please, have a seat' would have been more awkward for hankyung, because he has been shut inside himself and cold towards everyone for (was it 4?) years. more along the lines of like 'you can sit..if you want' or something more like that. because i imagine it would be hard to meet with donghae after donghae took a bullet for him, and he's still learning to open up, the transition might be slower. BUT maybe thats just me and my weird mindset.
Mar. 31st, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
uhm wow. i exceeded the word length of a possible comment.

but moving on to the part that im seriously considering to rival my <3 kanghan moments, TEH SIHAN VIDEO HELLO.

uhm. i would quote it, but then that would be the WHOLE LAST PART OF THE CHATPER WHICH WAS PERFECT. and that would extend my already too long comment.

ok i dunno where to start. but you already know that i cried myself dry so thats a start. (most ive cried out of all the other chapters combined) okok wait i know. hankyung adorableness. TOO LARGE SHIRT AND HOW DID YOU KNOW THATS WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED HIM TO WEAR IN A RANDOM SHOW. and no pants, so that his legs are showing? drowning hannie in a large shirt (THAT IS SIWON'S , PLEASEPLEASE BE SIWONS) is about 500 different kinds of adorable (and 700 if it is siwons)

and the whole homemade video concept of it all, its so cozy and heartwarming. haha i was practically yelling at the screen like 'DONGHAE GO TO THE LAPTOP GO GO GO AND PLAY THE VIDEO THAT HANKYUNG WATCHES TO CALM HIMSELF DOWN'

"Maybe go to a nice dinner later that you'll be paying for."

uhm cute. so cute. they are so comforatable with eachother and its amazingly endearing. and hello, potentially whipped siwon <3. and you worked in the quote from his father, which is so gorgeous and ironic and meaningful. and SIWON with out the shirt. haha, together they make one outfit. thats how well they fit. elegant shirtless siwon + adorable hannie drowning in only a shirt = <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333.

and its like they are such a domestic and happy couple, but they are so interesting because they are not, not when they are in the arena with dirt and sweat and glory and they love it anyways.

the contentment and happiness in the video, and imagining hankyung watch it on lonely nights where he wakes up screaming siwons (and now not-siwons) name was so desperatly sad and that is why i cried. i love the video. i love it so much, and i knew that i was going to love it after hankyung watched it to calm himself down but i didn't expect it to be this much. and then after that siwon gets shot. gawd, i wish others would just know and try to understand how much he has suffered through, so they wouldn't be so angry at him when he is being cold and generally not-nice.

great scene with donghae and hankyung at the end. 'i'm so sorry' and no other line was needed , only the actions for the rest of that scene and it was perfect.

by the way, im going to very guiltily confess something. im entirely too glad that you made this hankyungs story because i don't think i would have read it if siwon had been the one to live. because i am biased and stupid like that, for some reason i just dont like siwon and donghae together if they don't have hankyung. i do not know why, but it just kills me >.<

...i am sorry T.T my comments(spazz attacks) keep getting longer and longer with each chapter. i feel like im writing essay length by now.
(no subject) - miracleshining - Apr. 1st, 2008 12:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wings_strength9 - Apr. 3rd, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - miracleshining - Apr. 3rd, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wings_strength9 - Apr. 3rd, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wings_strength9 - Apr. 3rd, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 1st, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
I love ur story! And I just had to read this chapter eventhough it
way past my bedtime... ^___^ But that's the effect ur stories have
on people, I'm just hooked! I also love the hanhae (and shihan too)!
I especially loved the whole last part...

*Softly tugging at my heart strings in which tears nearly followed*

Can't wait for next chapter!
Apr. 1st, 2008 03:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Wow, I'm just so happy to know that you stay up to read my work, that means the world to me! And I'm always glad to meet another HanHae and SiHan fan!

I hope my next chapter lives up to expectations! =^^=
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 3rd, 2008 03:41 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that you've been following along with the storyline!

And please do continue with your YeTeuk, that pairing needs so much more love! I'm glad you enjoyed reading that particular section, I had a lot of fun writing it. Wicked cool Yesung is far too fun to write!

I'm also glad you enjoyed the video sequence, that part always chokes me a up a little bit!

I hope my next chapter is worth the wait!
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Taffy "Miracle Shining" Anderson

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